Name Change Debate Solved!

After hemming and hawing for over a year and changing my mind countless times, I finally decided on my married name. I made this pronouncement sometime last week, and this internal debate has been going on for so long that my guy said, “Okay, see you when you change your mind next week!” Well, it’s next week, and guess what? I didn’t change my mind!

See, originally I thought that this would be an easy thing. For years I was determined! I was convinced that my maiden name was so horrendous that, as soon as I got married, I would plow down old ladies with walkers to get to the Social Security office to have my name officially changed.

(You might be thinking to yourself, her name can’t be THAT bad. Much like Obama, yes it can. My last name is a blatant sexual innuendo that made high school an absolute hoot!)

Well, when my guy proposed, I was excited. (Duh.) What I was surprisingly not excited about was changing my name. It was tough, though. Because my first name and his last name alone make pretty little music. Even the signature is gorgeous.

Not only that, it’s significantly shorter than my current name, which clocks in at eighteen letters, first and last. My name is so long that I have to shorten my signature by using only my first initial and my last name. Even then, I kind of phone it in with the last name, which usually ends up being a giant squiggle. When I took standardized tests in school, my first name was always cut off by one letter.

Well, I can chuck all of my dreams of happy name-writing goodbye, because in the end, I couldn’t part with my last name. It used to be some sort of perverse scarlet letter (like when parents name their kids Rain Mossball or Foothill), but now it’s like a badge of courage. I earned that name. It’s mine. To give up the name feels like giving up a bit of my past.

But I wanted his name too, because I’m a greedy only child. Cue up the hand cramps. Now my name will clock in at TWENTY-FOUR LETTERS.

E******* M********-M*****

I’ve started practicing it. It was a bit of a mouthful at first, and my hand is still getting used to the workout, but I like it. I do have concerns, though. Will it fit on my bank card? Will it even fit on a license? Do I need to start doing hand pushups to prepare for the physical endurance tests I will be putting my right hand through?

Fun with Google!

Both Mr. Fairfax and I have pretty unique surnames, so I don't think I really needed to worry about someone stealing my new name gmail handle, but just 'cause I'm crazy like that I went ahead and set up gmail accounts in all possible new last name combos. I'm the proud owner of:

[FIRSTNAME].[NEWLASTNAME]@gmail.com
[FIRSTNAME][MAIDENNAME][NEWLASTNAME]@gmail.com

I figure that way I have options and I need never worry about not having just the right gmail address. ha!

I also set up a gmail account specifically for wedding guests, it's

[MAIDENNAME][NEWLASTNAME]@gmail.com

I wanted to have a place that guests could reach us that both Mr. Fairfax and I had access too and where e-mails from guests would NOT get lost in the horrible clutter of our personal inboxes. I tried to stress on our wedding website that guests should feel free to contact us there, and we would love to hear from them. I know as a guest (where I've only know one or two other people attending) I've been hesitant to contact the bride or groom because I'm sure they're very busy!

So far just the Harris Teeter weekly sale updates* have been arriving in the in box, until today!
We sent our save the dates out last week and I received a message from a guest who won't be able to attend and wanted to let us know. Bummer, since it's an old dear friend of Mr. Fairfax's family, but this is exactly what I set the e-mail up for, so mission accomplished!

How have you communicated with guests before the wedding? Did you set up your married name gmail yet?

*Just wanted to make sure it works...plus looking at an empty inbox is sad. At least we're guaranteed one e-mail a week!

MissNowMrs.com

Not so long ago, I attended a bridal show, and there was a booth for MissNowMrs.com. This company provides a valuable service by offering more convenience with the name change process that many brides dread.

1. Go to the MissNowMrs.com website.
2. Answer the questions on the secure website. The site will autocomplete the forms you'll need to update your name on your driver's license, social security card, bank accounts, voter registration, mortgage, utilities, etc. Their service guarantee ensures that they will always have the most recent forms to facilitate your name changing process.
3. Review the forms for accuracy of your data.
4. File/print your completed forms. Each form will print with instructions on the order of submission, required documents/fees, addresses of local offices, etc.

It seems pretty convenient, and you'll know immediately the order in which order your name should be changed with the different government agencies and companies. If you have a questions while using the site, they have live online help. MissNowMrs.com simplifies a very confusing process for you, and costs $29.95. Since I'm still a nearlywed, I haven't used it yet, but I look forward to. Has anyone else used this service? If so, what has your experience been?

Surname Shmurname, Right?

I have one of those last names that garnered me quite a bit of negative press in high school, as well as unwanted attention. I heard the same jokes over and over again, and everyone thought they were some original hot shot when they said "I bet you never heard this before..."

The years went on, and even though people got older, the jokes still come. I was a 10 year old saying "I cannot wait to get married so I can change my name! I hate it!"

Now I am getting married, and get this... I'm conflicted!

For so many years I harbored bitterness towards this grief-causing moniker, and now that I finally have the option to change my name, I'm biting my lip!

Mr. JeffMemorial's last name is really nice. I've practiced the signature (of course), and it looks beautiful. It sounds lovely. I've said it a few times around girlfriends and we all smiled and giggled. To say it outloud makes my heart flutter in a wonderful way.

There is this part of me though that is sad to lose my last name. It's almost like it became a part of who I am. It's become my own badge of courage and something I'm proud of, and not from a making fun of standpoint.

I guess when you're younger it's easy to want to change your name. We constantly wish that our parents had named us something different. Heck, it took me forever to find my own first name not boring and frumpy. Now I like it. I kind of grew into my name, so to speak. Instead of it just being a name, it really became an identity... and maybe that's just a part of growing up.

And my mom was right. She would tell me that you may not like your name now, but when you're older you'll realize how lovely and distinguished it sounds.

As a compromise for myself, because I really do want to take Mr. JeffMemorial's name, I am moving my current last name to my middle name when I get married.

I vainly thought about hyphenating and keeping my maiden name prominent, but it sounded and looked ridiculous. It just wasn't an option. My name, as it stands with my first, middle and last name comes in at 22 letters. There is no need to add more to the mix.

This kind of falls under a category of things that come along with wedding planning that you didn't expect to be dealing with. It's not necessarily bad, but I've noticed that part of the planning process, whether we like it or not, is examining who we are now and where we really want to go.

Really.

I'm happy with where I'm going, but I'll miss my joke of a last name.

Really.